OLD LOVE

Old Love

The question is asked; “Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage?  Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?  And the answer is given; “Yes, there is a more beautiful thing.  It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path.  Their hands are gnarled but still clasped; their faces are seamed but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired but still strong with love and devotion.  Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love.  Old love.

Anon

On Your Wedding Day

Today is a day you will always remember.

The greatest in anyone’s life;

You’ll start off the day just two people in love,

And end it as husband and wife.

It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey,

With moments to cherish and treasure;

And although there’ll be times when you both disagree,

These will surely be outweighed by pleasure.

You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past,

When the secrets of marriage were spoken;

But you know that the answers lie hidden inside,

Where the bond of true love lies unbroken.

So live happy forever as lovers and friends,

It’s the dawn of a new life for you,

As you stand there together with love in your eyes,

From the moment you whisper ‘I do’.

And with luck all your hopes and you dreams can be real,

May success find its way to your hearts;

Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys,

But today is the day it all starts.

Anon

Blessed

 God, the best maker of all marriages, combine your hearts in one! 

 Shakespeare, King Henry V.III.387,8

Without God’s blessing and grace upon a marriage, a couple walks alone through the trials ahead.  No husband and wife, escapes hard times.  Therefore, religious tradition has for all time and all religions called upon God to bless the marriage union.  Blessings ask God to bring joy and love in abundance to the newlyweds, to make them strong during troubles, to bind them together as one so that they run to one another instead of apart.  Blessings also point the couple to God as the Father who loves and guides them best through life as a married couple.  The minister, rabbi, or priest bestows his benediction on the union on behalf of the believing community.

Traditional religious ceremonies include blessings written into the service.  Should you as a couple desire to choose a blessing from your own resources, this option is frequently possible.  Talk with your officiant to see how the blessing you choose might fit into the service.  Select from your religious scriptures. 

Civil blessings may be chosen from poems or sayings.  A number of blessings are included on the pages across the top of this blog labeled “Readings” and “Scripture”. 

The Purpose of a Wedding Vow

What is the essence of a wedding vow?

A wedding vow is a promise before witnesses to commit your life to being with and faithful to one man or one woman.  This is the essence of all wedding vows. It is a serious and solemn commitment for a life time. Therefore, the vows reflect the couple’s decision to remain faithful through good times and hard times, and to love each other deeply.

 The words used to make this promise vary greatly depending upon the religion, denomination, priest, minister or officiant.  The vows may be traditional or modern.  Most often, the vows are read by the officiant out of his/her book of service, then repeated by the bride and groom.  Traditional vows may be similar to this Protestant vow:

“I ______, take you, _______, to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful wife/husband, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.”

Today, couples have the freedom to write their own vows, if they choose to do so.  Wedding vows should include the following elements:

1. Choosing her/him
2. Promise through good times and bad
3. Commitment

The phrases you use should be your sincere expression of your love for one another.  Why are you choosing him/her?  What promises do you want to make?  What is your heartfelt commitment to the one you are about to wed? 

At the beginning of the wedding service, you will be asked your intent.  It may be phrased, "Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to this man/woman in marriage?"  Another phrasing, "Will you have _____ to be your wedded wife/husband?"  These questions ask you consider before the actual vows, whether you are, indeed, requesting to be joined together legally and/or before God.  You are being asked in effect, are you ready to promise to commit?  Then when you say your vows the commitment is made, done, legal.

If you find yourself struggling with making a sincere, binding commitment to your fiance, if you find the vow a burden, then perhaps you are not yet ready for marriage.  If, however your heart sings at the opportunity to join your life with his/hers, then express that desire in a short paragraph, and you will have written your own vows.

Writing your own vows is simplified by using the template on the page "Vows" found across the top bar of this blog.  You may also choose to select a vow from the collection given on that page.  Or perhaps, you could modify a vow from the collection to suit your personal taste. 

Enjoy yourself as you write, just saying to your loved one what is in your heart to say.

Tying the Knot

Binding Two Lives Together - Tying the Knot

        The phrase, “tying the knot”, has come to mean “getting married”.  The origin of this little saying was indeed a tying of a knot around the hands of a couple signifying the two joining together as one.  In boating, fishing, farming or many other forms of everyday life, two ropes or cords are made into one by tying a strong knot.  After the knot is formed, when the ends of the rope are pulled, the knot becomes tighter and tighter.  The two pieces of rope now forever useful as one long, strong rope.

Historically, this illustration, familiar to all rural societies became a part of the Latin wedding ceremonies.  After the vows, the priest would remove his stole (the long satin scarf draped around his neck).  The couple would join hands, and then the priest would drape the scarf over their hands in a loose knot.  Finalizing the marriage while the stole was still on their hands, the priest would then bless the union and solemnly announce them as man and wife.  This was so integrally a part of the wedding service, that the term “tying the knot” was generally understood as being married. 

Though this custom is no longer common, it might be a delightful addition to a traditional ceremony.  Just be sure to educate the priest, minister or wedding officiant as to the history and your desire to incorporate it into your ceremony.

"May your knot be strong and your rope long"

The Wedding Veil

            

Why Does The Bride Wear A Veil?

The tradition of a veil covering the bride is as ancient as the Roman Empire.  Brides of this time period wore a bright red veil to signify becoming a matron with the obligations of a married woman.  The wedding dress, itself, was often red up to the Victorian era when white became the preferred color.  

                Rather than a sheer veil, in Latin Christian ceremonies, approximately 300AD, a silk cloth was placed over the head of both the bride and the groom to signify laying on the “burden” the newlywed couple were taking upon themselves to fulfill their marital commitments.

                The bridal veil of fine tulle, traditional today, came about after the Renaissance in Europe.  Some stories say that this tradition came as a result of the Biblical story of Jacob.   Jacob was tricked into marrying the older sister, Leah, instead of his true love, Rachel because Leah was covered with an opaque veil during the ceremony.  In order to view the bride through the veil, sheer netting became popular.

                Today, brides often choose to use flowers instead of a veil, or a veil down the back, yet not covering her face.  Traditionally, the veil covers the brides face until her new husband lifts the veil to kiss the bride. The bride is free, today, to choose any combination of head adornment which pleases her.

Betrothal

     Solemn betrothals were common in Europe and the Middle East long before the birth of Christianity.  The "Betrothal" ritual was held in the church whereby the couple would pledge their intent to be married at a future time followed by the "Reading of the Banns" which was a public announcement from the pulpit of the couples betrothal.         

  Today we call it an engagement, often with little ceremony or celebration.  Couples may enjoy reintroducing a little formal betrothal ritual into their engagement announcement, especially if a friend or family member is throwing an engagement party for them.  A holiday party is another good time to have a little betrothal ceremony (as long as the hostess is part of your planning).  Be creative.  Since there is no legal or specific requirements, have fun.  Here are a few suggestions to get your thinking (Use one or several):

1. Reenact your proposal
2. Ask the father of the bride for her hand in marriage
3. Write a paragraph of love to read to each other
4. Ask a favorite person to bless your engagement
5. Read a poem
6. Play a song for your loved one
7. Make a formal announcement and have a toast
8. Present a flower to each other telling how that flower speaks of your intent to marry.