Answer: It is understandably difficult to imagine that your marriage will last when so many others have failed. No one wants to be hurt. But ask yourself this: would it hurt if your lover left you or was unfaithful to you? Of course it would. The truth is that all relationships involve some degree of risk. You must be willing to take a risk in order to gain the love that your heart desires.
Getting married, however, isn't as big of a risk as is living together. Choosing to live together won't prevent the pain you wish to avoid. In fact, living together may be more likely to cause your relationship to fail.
Beyond the practical benefits of marriage, there is the mystery of God's plan for relationships. Sex and marriage are his ideas! Because God loves you so much, he wants the absolute best for you. That's why he gave instructions to marry and to save sexual intimacy for marriage. He knew that the best way for your deepest needs to be met was in the security of marriage. When you obey the instructions he has given, he promises to bless you. Marriage is simply the right thing to do when you love someone.
God wants you to find fulfillment in marriage, but on one person can meet all your needs. You need a relationship with God. Even in the most healthy marriage, you will have a place in your heart that will feel unsettled or unsatisfied. This spot has been described as a God-shaped void that only God can fill. God's plan for you can only be known as you get to know him.
If you want to understand more how your marriage is part of God's process to grow the two of your into a lasting, loving oneness, Chaplain Gene and Chaplain Anne would love to share our story with you. Free premarital counseling sessions are available.
From "Making an Informed Decision About Marriage" 2003 Frontlines Publishing
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