A wedding ceremony with her kids, his kids, and you two is a beautiful statement of unity for a blended family. Here are some easy ideas to make it special:
- Flower Ritual: Two vases of different kinds of flowers representing each parent. One empty vase in the center. During the ceremony each of the family members takes a flower from their parent's vase and places it into the center vase. The new bouquet represents the new blended family.
- Sand Ritual: Using the sand ceremony tradition, each family member has a different color sand. All of the family members pour sand into the vessel creating a mosaic of colored sand representing the new family.
- Fountain of Love: Each family member chooses a smooth rounded rock. Upon this rock, they write their name and perhaps a meaningful word. During the ceremony, the rocks are placed in a special bowl to represent each members unique difference and yet unity as a family.
- Family Prayer: At the end of the ceremony, when it is time for a blessing, all family members place their hands one upon another for a family blessing.
- Vow to the family: Each parent, after their vows to each other, gives a vow of commitment to the children of the now blended family.
- Gratitude for support: When children are grown yet supportive of your new marriage, you may wish to give a word of thanksgiving and blessing to your grown children during the ceremony.
- Conflicting feeling: When the children of the couple are conflicted about their parents getting married, ask each child if they wish to be involved and honor their feelings.
- Call me by name: It is important to each of us to be recognized by our name, especially younger children or teenagers (though they may not acknowledge it). Ask the wedding officiant to include a prayer similar to this, "Lord God, as this new family goes forth together, touch the lives of ______, _______, _______, and _______ (children's names), that each one may blossom in this family into the unique and special person you have created them to be."